Andy Murray: “I tried my best.”

By all indications, tennis player Andy Murray put up a better fight against Spaniard Roberto Bautista Agut than anyone – the thousands of fans who crowded inside Melbourne Arena or the global TV audience that watched during all hours of the day and night – would have thought he could on this warm Australian summer Monday evening. It was opening night at the 2019 Australian Open.

Win or lose, it would be an emotional exit for the Scotsman. That’s because last Friday, Murray came into the interview room at Melbourne Park, teary-eyed and choked up with emotion, and revealed that he could no longer play with the pain in his hip he’s been experiencing while trying to play tennis. The former No. 1 had fallen to No. 230 in the world rankings because of his inactivity due to injury.

“Not feeling good. Been struggling for a long time,” said Murray, his shoulders slumped and the brim of his cap pulled down low. “I’m not sure I can play through the pain for another four or five months.”

Even still, as New York Times tennis correspondent Ben Rothenberg tweeted moments after Murray went down to a 6-4, 6-4, 6-7 (5), 6-7 (4), 6-2 first-round defeat, “his clock struck midnight before we thought it should be over.”

The No. 22 seed Bautista Agut won and will advance on in the Australian Open. But, as Rothenberg noted, Murray will be remembered for his “incredible effort; Andy has everything to be proud of.”

Following the fourth set tie-break, which Murray won 7-4, BBC5 Live’s David Law tweeted, “Whatever happens from here, over the last 10 minutes Andy Murray has turned this into an Andy Murray match.

“Fighting tooth and nail, making people care, making them live their lives through him, the ups and downs, the agony and ecstasy. Forget the titles, that’s Murray’s legacy.”

While Murray’s effort, which produced what “The Tennis Podcast” called “a rousing comeback in a match of unrivaled poignancy and significance” wasn’t quite enough for him to win, it provided everyone with hours of compelling drama. Although it was after 11 p.m. when the match ended, because of the 16-hour time difference between Melbourne and the U.S. east coast, for me I saw the exciting conclusion while digesting my morning breakfast.

Interviewed on the Melbourne Arena court shortly after his glorious defeat by his former coach-turned-broadcaster Mark Petchey, Murray searched long and deep for the right words to say that expressed his emotions. Although he was exhausted from his effort, he wasn’t sad or bitter. Instead, he composed his thoughts very carefully. Finally, he spoke, saying, “It was incredible. Thank you so, so much to everyone who’s come out tonight. ... I’ve loved playing here over the years. If this was my last match, amazing way to end. I gave literally everything I had.”

For now, Murray appears to be keeping his options open and hopes to play the final tournament of his career this summer at Wimbledon. However, that could all change in a matter of days if not hours.

During Murray’s post-match press conference that followed his four-hour nine-minute loss, he was asked by French tennis journalist Carole Bouchard what his tennis legacy should be. Murray’s answer, so brief but eloquent, was summed up in just four simple words: “I tried my best.”

A New Orleans diary: Why food matters in the Big Easy

Domilise's / Nothing fancy or elaborate.
Just one of the best meals in the Big Easy.

New Orleans takes its food seriously – gumbo, red beans and rice, and beignets come to mind – and it's been said that you can't come to the Big Easy and not eat a po-boy sandwich. So, why not try the best – even if it's made to order in a hard-to-find location up river from the French Quarter, where parking is difficult at best and getting a table (there are only five) or a seat at the bar (there's about 10 of them) is a matter of good timing. Yet, despite all of these obstacles, the locals swear by this hole in the wall kind of place.

Domilise's Po-Boy and Bar consists of a single-room bar
and dining area with five tables and about 10 bar seats.

Such it was on a recent Friday afternoon while visiting New Orleans that my wife and I dropped in at Domilise's Po-Boy and Bar, tucked away at 5240 Annunciation Street (corner Bellecastle), and treated ourselves to a po-boy sandwich for lunch. We had an hour to kill before we had to be on the highway headed west toward Lafayette in the Acadiana region of Louisiana to attend our nephew's wedding celebration.

We first visited Domilise's back in 2001 – pre Hurricane Katrina – and it was an enjoyable experience. So it was on our next visit to New Orleans earlier this month, we knew we wanted to revisit Domilise's.

Domilise's Po-Boy and Bar is an Uptown New Orleans restaurant known for its po-boy sandwiches. For the uninitiated, a po-boy is a traditional Louisiana sandwich served on baguette-like New Orleans French bread that's known for its fluffy center and crispy crust. The restaurant was founded in the 1930s by the Domilise family, who I learned lived in the house above the single-room bar/dining area. It was run by Sam and Dorothy "Miss Dot" Domilise for more than 75 years until her death in 2013. Although it was closed during Hurricane Katrina, since reopening Domilise's has been more popular than ever – acclaimed by many, including CNN's Anderson Cooper as well as Anthony Bourdain, who once filmed a spot on location for his Travel Channel program No Reservations.

My Domilise's meal /
A delicious ham and Swiss po-boy,
Zapp's New Orleans kettle-style chips,
Barq's root beer.

During our recent visit, my po-boy of choice a ham and Swiss cheese dressed with spicy Cajun mustard, shredded lettuce and pickles while my wife opted for a turkey dressed all the way. Both were made with love by the sweet ladies who manned the kitchen. The reasonably priced menu is full of excellent choices, including shrimp, oyster, catfish, roast beef and sausage, and come in two sizes: small and large. The small was plenty large for my appetite. Along with my fabulous po-boy, I complemented my "meal" with a bag of Zapp's New Orleans kettle-style potato chips and a bottle of Barq's root beer.

We sat at the bar sipping on our sodas and munching our chips – and soaking up the vibrant atmosphere – while our po-boys were being prepared with TLC, waiting for a table to open up. By the time our order was called, a table materialized by the back entrance. Nothing fancy, but plenty of space to spread out and enjoy our delicious – albeit sometimes messy – po-boys. Looking around as we ate, I couldn't help but notice we were likely the only tourists mixed among a crowded room full of white- and blue-collar locals who swear by this place for a great meal.

Domilise's Po-Boy & Bar /
Uptown at the corner of Annunciation and Bellecastle.

As Tom Piazza points out in his insightful 2006 book Why New Orleans Matters, "the real neighborhood places, tucked away usually in some unlikely corner of a residential street, animate the day-to-day grass roots culinary life of the city. There is nothing fancy or elaborate about these places to say the least, but also nothing humdrum or mass-produced, or even lackluster ... It is a point of honor to make food that tastes good – I don't think a New Orleanian would even understand the concept of turning out blah food so you could just eat and run.

"You can go into the most unassuming place – say, Domilise's, a sandwich shop with a hand-lettered sign in a very modest corner house a block from the river in a residential uptown neighborhood – and get a meal that you will remember for the rest of your days. Or at least for the rest of the day."

Indeed, you see food is a part of the rhythm and life of New Orleans, and it doesn't get much better than this. There's a reason that Domilise's is one of the best at what they do.

Photos: Cover photo courtesy of Google Images. All other photos by Michael Dickens © 2017.

Stephen Curry: MVP season is summed up in passionate 'thank you' speech to his teammates, family and fans

Stephen Curry / A unique combination of talent and humility.

Watching Stephen Curry win the NBA's Most Valuable Player Award this week -- the league's highest honor -- reminded me of the values of shooting, screening, cutting and passing he's shown throughout what has been a truly remarkable season. Curry, who stars for the Golden State Warriors, my hometown team, was the best player on basketball's best team.

Curry, the Warriors' first MVP since Wilt Chamberlain won in 1960, is a sharpshooting guard on a team that won a league-best 67 of 82 regular season games and is 5-1 in the playoffs so far. He is part of a very deep and very well-coached team, the marquee player that Golden State has built its team around.

Curry's memorable season statistics were dazzling and reflected his value to his team. He was sixth in the league in scoring (23.8 points per game), sixth in assists (7.7 per game ), third in three-point shooting (44.3 percent), first in free-throw shooting (91.4 percent), and fourth in steals (2.04 per game).

At a press conference in an Oakland, Calif. ballroom in front of about 500 friends, family and teammates on Monday, the diminutive (6-foot-3, 180 pounds) Curry shared the lessons that perseverance, faith and confidence played. He took the time to thank each of his teammates individually in his MVP speech and choked up when he talked about his father, former NBA guard Dell Curry, as his role model.

Among the words which Curry's Warrior teammates used to describe him: genuine. And Steve Kerr, his coach, called Curry a unique combination of talent and humility. "The way he carries himself, his demeanor," said Kerr.

Curry said he would donate his MVP prize car to the East Oakland Youth Development Center.

Among the highlights of Curry's speech, which focused on the importance of team:

"We’ll remember this year no matter how it finishes, really.  But we have a huge goal in mind this year, and we’ll be able to talk about it for years to come.

"Every time we think of this moment we’ll talk about it and moments that hopefully will happen in a couple of months, it will all mean so much to us. How much sacrifice we’ve put into it, how much work, just the consistency that it takes to get to where we are.  It takes all 14 guys.  You can’t have one bad apple in this equation, and we don’t.

"So we’re truly grateful.  I’m grateful to have this team behind me.  This is not possible without you guys.  I want everybody to get a fingerprint on that so I can remember who I rolled with during this year, and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

"All right.  I’ve been long‑winded, but this is the last part.  I’ve talked about faith, passion, and the drive with the guys that I’ve been around and the guys that surround me every single day.  But a part of that is having the will to succeed.  Knowing that you’ve put the work in and have the confidence to let it show.  What I tell people is be the best version of yourself in anything that you do.

"You don’t have to live anybody else’s story.  Sometimes people make it seem like you have to have certain prerequisites or a crazy life story in order to be successful in this world.  But the truth is you really don’t.  It doesn’t matter where you come from, what you have or don’t have, what you lack or what you have too much of, but all you need to have is faith in God, an undying passion for what you do and what you choose to do in this life, and a relentless drive and the will to do whatever it takes to be successful in whatever you put your mind to."

Finally, after nearly 40 minutes, Curry summed up his speech by sharing a bit of advice and wisdom from the heart:

"Make sure you live in the moment and work your butt off every single day, and I hope I inspire people all around the world to just be themselves, be humble, and be grateful for all the blessings in your life.  I’m truly honored to be your MVP this year.  Thank you very much."

Photo: Courtesy of Google Images. 

Sharing knowledge and instilling good feelings

Across the U.S., May is traditionally a month for college graduation ceremonies. It's the season where commencement speakers share their knowledge of the world and instill good feelings in graduating seniors -- and there are some seven million students graduating from colleges and universities this year alone.

Each year, the President of the United States gives a commencement address at one of the nation's military academies like West Point or Annapolis. On Wednesday, Barack Obama will use his commencement address at West Point Military Academy to lay out a broad vision of American foreign policy for the foreseeable future. Earlier this month, the well-known tennis commentator Mary Carillo spoke to graduates -- including her daughter -- at Elon College in North Carolina, and the esteemed jazz musician and educator Wynton Marsalis addressed graduates at Tulane University in New Orleans. Both are excellent communicators. Meanwhile, closer to my home, the House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi addressed the graduating class at the University of California, Berkeley.

Politicians and entertainers are often asked to give commence speeches because not only are they well known public figures, they're at ease being in front of large crowds of people. They're naturals.

Last week, the world famous, nine-time Grammy Award-winning soul artist John Legend, who is also a philanthropist and Penn alumnus, returned to his alma mater to receive an honorary Doctor of Music degree. Legend also delivered the commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania, described by USA Today as being "funny, moving and musical," and he even worked some song lyrics into his speech.

"The reason I'm here, the reason I've had such a wonderful journey so far, is that I've found love. Yes, love," said Legend, who first visited the Ivy League campus as a high school senior named John Stephens in 1995. "We were all made to love. And I've found that we live our best lives, we are at our most successful, not simply because we're smarter than everyone else, or because we hustle harder. Not because we become millionaires more quickly. The key to success, the key to happiness, is opening your mind and your heart to love. Spending your time doing things you love and with people you love."

Legend's musical pedigree is rich in diversity -- he's worked with Herbie Hancock, The Roots and Kanye West, among many -- and, lately, one of his songs, "All of Me," has gained in popularity, too.

I came across Legend's wonderful commencement address the other day -- a link to it appeared on my Facebook news feed. I spent some time reading it -- absorbing its message -- and it really resonated with me. Legend had a lot of important things to say to the University of Pennsylvania graduates, and he connected a lot of dots, too.

I urge all of you to take a few minutes to read over John Legend's commencement address with focus and passion and courage. And, if you are so moved, click on the above link to watch Legend and listen to his words of wisdom.

"Thank you. Thank you so much. Good morning. And congratulations!

Now I'll try to be brief this morning. As a musician, this is about 10 hours before I normally go to work, so I'm gonna need a nap soon. And you've got degrees to receive.

And I also have a feeling some of you are already tired of me. The thing about pop radio in America, somehow they've scientifically determined that the public is only capable of liking the same 10 songs at any given time, so they simply play those songs over and over and over until you're finally completely exasperated. Then they move on ...

I've had a 10-year career as a solo artist and none of my songs has ever been one of those 10 songs. Until this moment. And now "all of you, are so over me, you're tired of hearing that I went to Penn. Why'd they bring him back again?" (sung to the tune of "All of Me" chorus)

That was my humblebrag way of saying I have the biggest song in the country. Very artful, wouldn't you say?

But, honestly, I am truly humbled and honored and grateful to be here at the commencement of one of the finest universities on the planet. I first visited this campus as a high school senior named John Stephens in 1995 -- 19 years ago -- and I would have never thought at that moment that I would be standing here as John Legend, speaking to you today.

The reason I'm here, the reason I've had such a wonderful journey so far, is that I've found love. Yes, love. We were all made to love. And I've found that we live our best lives, we are at our most successful, not simply because we're smarter than everyone else, or because we hustle harder. Not because we become millionaires more quickly. The key to success, the key to happiness, is opening your mind and your heart to love. Spending your time doing things you love and with people you love.

My life could have gone differently though. At first, I had a pretty good childhood. I grew up in a small blue-collar city called Springfield, Ohio. I was surrounded by family, including two loving parents who cared so much about our education that they home-schooled us for several years during grade school. And they took the time to teach us more than academics. They taught us about character, about what it meant to live a good life.

My father often talked to us about his definition of success. He told us that it wasn't measured in money and material things, but it was measured in love and joy and the lives you're able to touch -- the lives you're able to help. And my parents walked the walk. They gave of themselves to our church. They took in foster kids and helped the homeless, even though we didn't have much money ourselves.

Growing up in the Stephens house also meant you were immersed in art and music and encouraged to be creative. We had a piano and a drum kit in the house. I begged to take piano lessons when I was 4. I started singing in the church choir and in school plays by the time I was 7. So I fell in love with music at a very young age.

My family was like a model family in our church and local community. My parents were leaders, raising intelligent, talented kids in a loving environment. We even had a little singing group called the "Stephens 5."

But things started to fall apart when I was 10. My maternal grandmother passed away that year when she was only 58 years old, and her death devastated my family. She was our church organist, and on Sundays after church, I would go to her house just to hang out with her. She would make chicken and collard greens and corn bread. And she would teach me how to play gospel piano. She was one of my favorite people on the planet.

She and my mother were also very close, and her death sent my mother into a deep depression that eventually tore our family apart. My world was shattered. My parents got divorced. My mother disappeared into over a decade of drugs and despair. And I was confused and disoriented.

After the initial shock of my family breaking apart, my outward response wasn't very emotional. I coped by being stoic and seemingly unaffected. I thought if I didn't expose myself to any more pain and vulnerability, I could never get hurt. If I didn't fall in love, no one could ever betray me like that again.

I busied myself with school work and lots of activities, and tried not to think too much about my family situation, tried to avoid pain whenever possible. A big reason I only applied to colleges on the east coast was to make sure I had no reminders of home in my daily life.

The only thing I allowed myself to really love without reservation was music. I put all of my passion into it. I spent so much of my spare time working on it, that I barely got any sleep. At night, I was doing community choir, show choir and musicals in high school; a cappella and a church choir in college. I wrote my own songs. Played in talent shows. I put a lot of energy into becoming a better artist, a better writer and a better performer. And in some ways, it made me a better student and a better leader. Because when you actually care about something, you want to lead. Apathy's not so cool any more.

When I graduated from Penn, I had many of the traditional opportunities in front of you now, and I took a job at the Boston Consulting Group. But I couldn't shake my passion for music. I had followed the path that the Penn graduate was supposed to take, but I didn't fall in love. I immediately started thinking about how I could leave BCG and become a full-time musician. I spent hours during the day preparing powerpoint presentations and financial models. And I spent almost as many hours at night writing songs and performing at small gigs around New York and Philadelphia.

I always believed that my big break would come sooner rather than later. In fact, from 1998, while I was still at Penn, to early 2004, I spent each of those years always thinking that I would get that big record deal within the next few months. I always thought my moment was just around the corner. But I was rejected by all the major labels; some of them rejected me multiple times. I played for all the giants of the business -- Clive Davis, L.A. Reid, Jimmy Iovine, you name it. And all of them turned me down.

But I did find a young producer from Chicago named Kanye West who believed in me. Kanye happened to be the cousin of my good friend DeVon Harris, a classmate and roommate of mine here at Penn. DeVon introduced me to Kanye in 2001, and we've been working together ever since. Our collaboration has been a huge part of my career, and it had a lot to do with me finally getting a major recording contract in 2004.

Now, Kanye and I have very different personalities, as you might have guessed. But what unites us is our true love for music and art. We love to create, and at no point in our creative process do we stress about what will sell or what's already popular. We think about making something beautiful, something special, something we can be proud of. We truly do this because we love it. We put all of ourselves into it.

And it turns out that love requires that level of commitment from you. Half-doing it is not doing it right. You have to go all in. And yes, your personal relationships require that too.

I know what it's like to be all ego in your 20s. I know what it's like to be selfish and just focus on your immediate wants and desires. I know what it's like to protect your heart from pain and disappointment. I know what it means to be all about the rat race and winning.

But years from now, when you look back on your time here on earth, your life and your happiness will be way more defined by the quality of your relationships, not the quantity. You'll get much more joy out of depth, not breadth. It's about finding and keeping the best relationships possible with the people around you. It's about immersing yourself in your friendships and your family. It's about being there for the people you care about, and knowing that they'll be there for you.

I know. It's not easy to go all in on love. I'm 35 and I'm married and I'm still learning how to do this completely. But I've found someone who makes me want to try, someone who makes me want to take that risk. And it's made all the difference.

Now, I've already talked about the power of love in your work and your personal lives. But I also want to talk about how love changes the world. There are 7 billion other people out there. Seven billion strangers. I want you to consider what it means to love them, too. What does it mean to love people we don't know, to see the value in every single person's life?

Think about that. It's a pretty radical notion. It means your daughter or son, your neighbor's daughter or son and the daughters and sons of people who live thousands of miles away, all deserve the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It means we let go of fear and see each other's humanity. It means we don't see Trayvon Martin as a walking stereotype, a weaponized human. We see him as a boy who deserves the chance to grow into a man, even if he makes boyish mistakes along the way. It means American lives don't count more than Iraqi lives. It means we see a young Palestinian kid not as a future security threat or demographic challenge, but as a future father, mother and lover. It means that the nearly 300 kidnapped girls in Nigeria aren't just their problem. They're "our" girls too. It's actually quite a challenge to love humankind in this way.

Professor Cornel West gives us a word for what this kind of love looks like in public. That word is justice.

If you're committed to loving in public, it requires you opening your eyes to injustice, to see the world through the eyes of another. This is not a passive activity. You have to read. You have to travel to other neighborhoods, other parts of the world. You may have to get your hands dirty. You have to allow people to love you, and you have to love them back

My team and I met a young girl named Rose from a small, impoverished village in Ghana. When you're working with development organizations and visiting the communities they work in, you're not really supposed to single out one child to fall in love with. You're supposed to stick to the program and focus on the interventions that lift the community as a whole. But we couldn't help it. We fell in love with Rose. Something about the spark in her eyes and her indomitable spirit made us want to go the extra mile to help her. So we decided to use our own funds to sponsor her tuition to secondary school.

We've stayed in touch with her over the past seven years, and we're so proud of what she's done individually. But we're also happy that she inspired us to formalize and expand our scholarship program to many girls in communities like hers throughout Africa, communities where the parents often invest in the boys' secondary education, but don't do the same for the girls.

In my travels around the world, I've looked in the eyes of many young girls and boys from Africa to Southeast Asia to Harlem, kids who had big dreams and needed someone to believe in them and invest in their future, in their education.

What would our schools look like if we were committed to love in public? If we cared about every kid in our school system, we would make sure they didn't go to school hungry. We would make sure they had proper health care and counseling. We would make sure they had excellent teachers in every classroom. We would make sure we weren't unfairly suspending them and criminalizing them for minor behavioral problems. We'd make sure all of them had the resources they need.

Every religion has this idea of philanthropy, love for mankind, at its core. But you shouldn't do this just to make sure you get into the "pearly gates." Look at the work of Marty Seligman here at Penn, who has literally written the book on happiness. Look at the work of Adam Grant, whom I hear is the most highly rated professor here: He has the data to show that giving works. There's an increasing body of research and knowledge that tells us that living a life of love and compassion is the true path to success and contentment.

So what's going to stop you? What's going to stand in your way? What's going to keep you from achieving your success? What will prevent you from going all in on love?

We're taught when we're young that the opposite of love is hate. But it's not. Hate is a byproduct. Hate is a result. Being a hater isn't cool. Nobody wants that. But hate comes from one thing: fear. And fear is the opposite of love. It's not a coincidence that when we talk about bigotry, we often talk in terms of fear: homophobia, xenophobia. Fear is what blinds us. Fear is corrosive. Fear makes us hold back. It whispers to us, tells us that we'll fail. It tells us that our differences are too much to overcome. Fear locks us in place. It starts fights. It causes wars.

And fear keeps us from loving. Even though we're made to love, we're often afraid to love. We're afraid of being hurt deeply. Afraid of feeling the pain I went through when my parents divorced. But you're never going to really love something or someone unless you put those fears aside. Don't hold back. Being in love means being ready to give freely and openly, and being ready to risk something. Risking pain and disappointment, conquering your fears, and becoming anew.

Alice Walker once said, "The more I wonder, the more I love." Love calls you to open your eyes, to seek, to search, to wonder.

Love is all-consuming -- it infiltrates your body, it's what allows you to experience bliss, joy and true friendship. You'll be more disappointed when something goes wrong. You might fall harder. But the only way you'll reach any height in life and in love is by taking the chance that you might fall.

You have to give your all.

Yes, I've been not-so-subtly working in my song lyrics. And some might think it's all a bit too much. Here I am, this R&B singer with an album called Love in the Future, who's recently married and wrote the biggest love song of the year, and what did I choose to talk about? Love. It's so corny, isn't it. It's much cooler to be detached and apathetic, right? We all like a little snark and cynicism and irony, especially from our favorite artists and comedians and writers. I get it.

But that cool detachment only gets you so far. Passion gets you a lot further. It makes you a better entrepreneur, a better leader, a better philanthropist, a better friend, a better lover.

I want you to live the best life you can. You can be world-changers. When you leave here today, you're going to be looking for a lot of things: security, money, friendships, sex, all kinds of things. But the most important thing you'll find is love.

So love your self, love your work, love the people around you. Dare to love those who are different from you, no matter where they're from, what they look like, and who they love. Pursue this life of love with focus and passion and ambition and courage. Give it your all. And that will be your path to true success.

Congratulations to the Class of 2014 and thank you so much!"

Under optimistic skies

Sharing the beauty of nature / A First Prize rose
from our backyard garden.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, the American essayist, lecturer, preacher and poet, who led the Transcendentalist movement of the mid-19th century, was an optimist about a lot of things in life, such as the goodness of human nature, the goodness of the universe as a whole, and about our ability to know the truth. 

Emerson's intellect embodied the finest spirit and highest ideals of his age. Often, I look to the clarity of his words when in need of a boost in my own spirits. We could all do well to follow his wisdom in these gloomy times.

“Write it on your heart
that every day is the best day in the year.
He is rich who owns the day, and no one owns the day
who allows it to be invaded with fret and anxiety.

Finish every day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.
Some blunders and absurdities, no doubt crept in.
Forget them as soon as you can, tomorrow is a new day;
begin it well and serenely, with too high a spirit
to be cumbered with your old nonsense.

This new day is too dear,
with its hopes and invitations,
to waste a moment on the yesterdays.” 

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson, Collected Poems and Translations