Since September, I’ve been getting text messages from former president Barack Obama.
“Hey! It’s Barack. Click on the link to sign up so I can respond directly to you,” the first text read. “I won’t be able to get to everything, but I’ll be in touch to share what’s on my mind and I want to hear from you, too. Let’s do this.”
After texting in the run-up to the November elections to make sure I had a plan for voting, last week, Mr. Obama checked back. “Hi there. As 2020 comes to a close, I wanted to share my annual lists of favorites I’ll start by sharing my favorite books this year. I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did. What are you reading?”
Then, the other day, “Hi there. As 2020 comes to a close, I wanted to share my annual list of favorites. I hope you enjoy.” And he proceeded to list his favorite music and films.
I seem to recall that the former president started to compile his cultural lists while still in office. Imagine if we had a president now who made time for reading and kept up with music and film. Instead, for Donald Trump, it’s all about keeping up with appearances and about TV ratings and wild conspiracy theories.
Somehow, I would like to think that President-elect Joe Biden, while maybe not quite as hip as his former boss, will restore a sense of curiosity and interest to books – and, perhaps, music and film, too – during his days ahead in the White House.
In the meantime, as we count down the days until President-elect Biden’s inauguration on January 20, here’s the impressive list of Barack Obama’s favorite books of 2020:
• Homeland Elegies by Ayad Akhtar
• Jack by Marilynne Robinson
• Caste by Isabel Wilkerson
• The Splendid and the Vile by Erik Larson
• Luster by Raven Leilani
• How Much of These Hills is Gold by C. Pam Zhang
• Long Bright River by Liz Moore
• Memorial Drive by Natasha Trethewey
• Twilight of Democracy by Anne Applebaum
• Deacon King Kong by James McBride
• The Undocumented Americans by Karla Cornejo Villavicencio
• The Vanishing Half by Britt Bennett
• The Glass Hotel by Emily St. John Mandel
• Hidden Valley Road by Robert Kolker
• The Ministry for the Future by Kim Stanley Robinson
• Sharks in the Time of Saviors by Kawai Strong Washburn
Today is Election Day in the United States and throughout America, the mid-term elections serve as a referendum on the direction of our country under President Donald J. Trump. Are we content with the everyday chaos coming out of the White House or do we hearken for something better?
We’re reminded that when the U.S. has been at odds with itself, a born leader has come along to remind us of the common causes we share – and just as important, of our shared humanity. Think back to when Barack Obama became the first black elected President of the United States 10 years ago this week. It seems like such a long time ago, that chilly Election Night victory speech in Chicago’s Grant Park, when one voice changed the world.
However, with the U.S. becoming more deeply divided by the hate, fear, deviciveness and lies that have characterized the first two years of the Trump presidency, it’s worth looking back to some of our country’s past presidents – Abraham Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt and Lyndon Johnson – all of them leaders, to see if they have something to teach us about the challengers we face as a nation today.
In Leadership in Turbulent Times, published by Simon & Schuster in September, Pulitzer Prize-winning author and historian Doris Kearns Goodwin draws upon the four presidents she has studied most closely – Lincoln, both Roosevelts and Johnson – to show how each recognized leadership qualities within themselves and were recognized as leaders by others.
Seven questions are explored in great detail in Leadership, which form the foundation of Goodwin’s book. They are: Are leaders born or made? Where does ambition come from? How does adversity affect the growth of leadership? Do the times make the leader or does the leader shape the times? How can a leader infuse a sense of purpose and meaning into people’s lives? What is the difference between power, title, and leadership? Is leadership possible without a purpose larger than personal ambition?
The blogger meets the author.
According to Goodwin, “No common pattern describes the trajectory of leadership. Although set apart in background, abilities, and temperament, these men shared a fierce ambition and a deep-seated resilience that enabled them to surmount uncommon hardships. At their best, all four were guided by a sense of moral purpose. At moments of great challenge, they were able to summon their talents to enlarge the opportunities and lives of others.”
In a recent interview with The History Channel, Goodwin said that leadership is elusive because one size does not fit all. “In my book, I have sought to make the concept of leadership less abstract and more practical through specific stories that can provide a guide and inspiration to show how – with ambition, self-reflection and perseverance – leadership skills can be developed and strengthened.
“Through my study of leadership these past five years, I found a family resemblance of traits and patterns of behavior – among them humility, empathy, resilience, courage; the ability to replenish energy, listen to diverse opinions, control negative impulses, connect with all manner of people, communicate through stories and keep one’s word. ... They remind us of what is needed today.”
On Abraham Lincoln, Goodwin characterized the 16th President by writing: “Confident and humble, persistent and patient, Abraham Lincoln had the ability to mediate among different factions of his party, and was able, through his gift for language, to translate the meaning of the struggle into words of matchless force, clarity and beauty.”
We should be grateful for Goodwin’s book – she offers heartening examples of leadership from the past in the hope that “we will not accept our current uncivil polarization as the norm.”
Goodwin hopes that Leadership will provide reassurance through the study and stories of “my guys,” who set forth a template of shared purpose, collaboration and compromise – “the best of our collective identity in times of trouble.”
Leadership in Turbulent Times is timely – very timely – and it’s timeless at the same time.
Recently, while entertaining out of state friends, we happened one evening to visit the nation's only complete collection of presidential portraits outside of the White House at the Smithsonian Institute's National Portrait Gallery in Washington, D.C. The gallery of Presidential Portraits is a timeless exhibition that lies at the heart of the National Portrait Gallery's core mission: telling the American story through the individuals who shaped it.
From George Washington to Barack Obama, presidential portraits have always attracted our interest. Once upon a time – before newspapers, magazines and television – a painted portrait or a sculpted image was the only means that most of us knew of our Presidents. And, as I've learned, throughout much of the 19th century, there was a lively debate over which portrait of George Washington most accurately conveyed his proper image.
Inside the gallery of Presidential Portraits, there are a variety of presidential likenesses, including oil on canvas, marble head busts, engravings – and, there's the Chuck Close portrait of Bill Clinton that is truly amazing and has to be seen. As I took note while walking through the gallery and viewing the presidential portraiture in order of their presidency, from Washington to Obama, I couldn't help but notice that some portraits were more sophisticated and interesting than others. Let's face it – I think Teddy Roosevelt is just a bit more striking a figure than Millard Fillmore. Same goes for JFK compared to Calvin Coolidge. No offense, some presidents are just more interesting than others.
Bill Clinton
As I drew closer to the newest presidential portrait – of Barack Obama – I noticed an orderly queue line and soon I joined it so that I could take a few candid photographs. The portrait of the 44th President by artist Kehinde Wiley was unveiled on February 12 at the National Portrait Gallery and it's become the center of attention – along with the new portrait of former first lady Michelle Obama – inside the entire National Portrait Gallery.
"Historically, portraiture has always been about saying yes to things that we want to celebrate, but I think also the commissioned portrait has often times been about a society saying, 'Who are the people we collectively want to honor?' and particularly with the presidential portrait, this is the highest aspect of that tradition," said Wiley, during a recent interview with Time. "It's been – I can't tell you – an extraordinary honor to be able to participate in that."
The portrait of Obama makes quite a statement. It's anything but drab. The former president is shown wearing a black suit with an open-collared shirt. He's sitting on a wooden chair. And, he's surrounded by flowers and green foliage. The flowers, I learned, include: blue lilies, from his father's home in Kenya; jasmine from Obama's home state of Hawaii; and chrysanthemums, the official flower of Chicago, the former president's hometown.
John F. Kennedy
At the unveiling of his portrait, Obama said, "What I was always struck by whenever I saw (Wiley's) portraits was the degree to which they challenged our conventional views of power and privilege."
Wiley stated, "The ability to be the first African-American painter to paint the first African-American president of the United States is absolutely overwhelming. It doesn't get any better than that."
After seeing the Obama portrait, Brian T. Allen wrote in The National Review, "Obama looks directly at us, as if he reads our minds and challenges our assumptions. It's jarring but effective. He's formal and familiar, both tense and loose. He leans toward the viewer. It's not a position comfortably sustained. It's not repose. It suggests imminent action. For Obama, this probably means he's about to tell us, 'That's not who we are,' instructing us to question some near-universally held sentiment. Wiley builds the figure with straight lines and diagonals. His suit is dark. Aside from his wedding ring, he's unornamented. Obama's open collar softens the effect. It's his trademark look but seems like a uniform. He's a role model, so it works."
On Tuesday morning, I woke up to the headline "Mr. Trump and Spineless Republicans," at the top of The New York Times editorial page. In its opinion, The Times wrote: "Just when it seems that Donald Trump could not display more ignorance and bad judgment or less of a moral compass, he comes up with another ignominy or two. This weekend he denigrated the parents of a fallen American military hero and suggested that if elected he might recognize Russia's claims to Ukraine and end sanctions.
"Mr. Trump's divisive views helped him capture the Republican presidential nomination. And even as he creates a political whirlwind with each utterance, leading members of his own party haven't the spine to rescind their support. Sure, some have come out with strong criticisms, but none have gone far enough. Repudiation of his candidacy is the only principled response."
As the 2016 presidential campaign came into full focus following last week's historic nomination of Hillary Clinton as the first female to be nominated for president by a major political party, I have followed with great interest the fallout from Donald Trump's crude derision of the parents of Army Capt. Humayun Khan, a Muslim American who was awarded a Bronze Star and a Purple Heart after he was killed by a suicide bomber in Iraq in 2004. It's drawing around-the-clock attention by 24-hour cable news broadcasters like MSNBC, CNN and Fox News as well as making daily headlines in national newspapers like The New York Times and The Washington Post. In today's Times editorial, it called Trump's statements towards the fallen soldier's parents "deplorable and mystifying" and asked: "Why would a presidential candidate mock the parents of a soldier who died in combat?"
Khizr Khan, father of a deceased Muslim American soldier, offered Donald J. Trump his copy of the U.S. Constitution during a speech at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia last Thursday. Standing beside Mr. Khan is his wife, Ghazala, mother of the fallen soldier.
It is said that words, like eyes, are the windows into a person's soul. Last week, Captain Khan's father, Khizr Khan, along with his wife Ghazala Khan, standing by his side, were highly critical of Mr. Trump for proposing to ban Muslim immigration to the United States. In a speech to the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia last Thursday, Mr. Khan accused Mr. Trump of having made no sacrifices for his country. He spoke moments before Mrs. Clinton formally accepted her party's nomination.
In a tribute to his fallen son, the 66-year-old Mr. Khan spoke passionately of his son's character, his faith, and his patriotism. In doing so, this Muslim American father's electrifying speech turned into a lesson in American citizenship. There was no denying that Mr. Khan was being sincere while showing his undivided loyalty to his country.
The elder Khan, an immigration lawyer with an advanced degree from Harvard Law School, became a United States citizen after he emigrated from Pakistan in 1980. You see, he came to America seeking a better life for his family. Along with his wife, the Khans raised three sons, the middle one who would become a hero in death. The Khan family resides in Charlottesville, Va.
Army captain Humayun Khan, 27, died while serving his country – the United States – in combat in Iraq on June 8, 2004. He became a victim of a suicide car bombing while trying to protect the other troops in his unit. In my research, I learned that Khan had graduated from the University of Virginia and had been accepted into law school. He wanted to follow in the footsteps of his father. However, he deferred his admission to serve our country before continuing his education.
In speaking to the DNC audience – and by extension to a worldwide audience – Khizr Khan "gave a voice to Muslim Americans outraged by the anti-Muslim pronouncements of the Republican nominee for president, Donald J. Trump," wrote The New York Times.
It should come as no surprise that Mr. Trump's call for restrictions on Muslims entering the U.S. is acutely personal for Mr. Khan. And, it's something that has become a recurring talking point between me and many of my Muslim Facebook friends, most whom reside in Tunisia. They are puzzled by what is going on in the U.S. While most of them realize that Trump's sentiments are not shared by most Americans – including me – and goes against the ideals and values that have helped shape my country's democracy, they are shocked and disturbed that Mr. Trump could be calling for a blanket restriction on Muslim immigration – solely on the basis on religious grounds.
In December, Mr. Trump called for "a total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States until our country's representatives can figure out what is going on."
In speaking about his deceased son with his wife standing his side, the bereaved Mr. Khan said during his speech: "If it was up to Donald Trump, he never would have been in America." Under Trump's proposed policies, the younger Khan would have never served his country because he and his family would have been barred from entering the United States.
The elder Khan said Mr. Trump "wants to build walls and ban us from this country."
"Have you ever been to Arlington Cemetery?" Mr. Khan asked Mr. Trump. "Go look at the graves of brave patriots who died defending the United States of America. You will see all faiths, genders and ethnicities. You have sacrificed nothing and no one."
Mr. Khan's remarks reverberated inside and beyond the Wells Fargo Arena where he spoke to an attentive DNC audience. Then, the moment that turned Mr. Khan into a social media phenomenon – and has been shown countless number of times on TV over the past few days – happened. Staring unwaveringly at the television camera, he passionately spoke: "Let me ask you: Have you even read the United States Constitution?" said Mr. Khan. "I will gladly lend you my copy." Addressing Mr. Trump directly (which the intolerant Trump later called "a vicious attack" in a series of tweets), he pulled out a pocket-sized copy of the Constitution from his coat pocket and waved it for the entire world to see. It was the emotional moment of the convention.
Mr. Khan's speech was one of the most stirring speeches I've ever heard or watched. It was heartfelt and passionate. My eyes welled with tears and I applauded several times. I'm sure I was not alone in expressing these feelings.
Beginning Saturday, Mr. Trump belittled the Khans. He implied that Mrs. Khan did not speak at the convention because her religion did not allow it, and he equated his "sacrifices" as a businessman to those of the grieving Gold Star parents. What Mr. Trump failed to realize is that he could not sacrifice without serving. "With his implication that the soldier's mother had not spoken because of female subservience expected in some traditional strains of Islam, his comments also inflamed his hostilities with American Muslims," wrote The New York Times.
"If you look at his wife, she was standing there," Trump said, in an interview with ABC News. "She had nothing to say. She probably, maybe she wasn't allowed to have anything to say. You tell me."
The Washington Post wrote: "Trump described (Mr.) Khan as 'very emotional' and said he 'probably looked like a nice guy to me' – then accused him of being controlled by the Clinton campaign."
Trump's response stirred outrage among critics who said the episode once again proves that Trump lacks the compassion and temperament to be president.
Over the weekend, Ezra Klein, a columnist for Vox.com, wrote: "Trump listened to a speech by the bereaved father of a fallen Muslim soldier and used it to slander the fallen soldier's family. That was his response. That is his character. ... This is the gauge of his cruelty." He called the slander "horrifying" – even for Trump. Then Klein asked: "Just what kind of person is Donald Trump? What kind of person says these things? And is that really the kind of person we want to be president?"
"There's only one way to talk about Gold Star parents: with honor and respect," Ohio governor John Kasich, a Republican Party primary rival of Mr. Trump's, wrote on Twitter, using the term for surviving family members of those who died in war. His sentiments have been echoed by many politicians.
During an interview with MSNBC's Lawrence O'Donnell, the first of many the Khans have granted, which aired Friday night, Mrs. Khan broke down sobbing as she spoke about her son. It suggested to me – and I'm sure others – that Mrs. Khan let her husband give the convention speech for one simple reason: even though it's been 12 years since her son's death, she remains overwhelmed by grief. How can Mr. Trump not understand this? How can he not express any empathy for the fallen soldier's parents?
"Sacrifice, I don't think he knows the meaning of sacrifice, Mrs. Khan said. "Because when I was standing there, all America felt my pain. Without saying a single word. Everybody felt that pain."
In a rebuttal to Mr. Trump's disparaging remarks, Mr. Khan lashed out at the Republican Party nominee during an interview on Saturday, saying that his wife did not speak at the convention because it was too painful for her to talk about her son's death. Mr. Trump, he said, "is devoid of feeling the pain of a mother who has sacrificed her son.
"Trump is totally void of any decency because he is unaware of how to talk to a Gold Star family and how to speak to a Gold Star mother," said Mr. Khan.
On Monday morning, Mr. Trump continued to criticize Mr. Khan via Twitter. "Mr. Trump complained that Mr. Khan had become a ubiquitous presence in the news media since his speech at the convention, in which he excoriated the Republican presidential nominee," wrote The New York Times.
"Mr. Khan who does not know me, viciously attacked me from the stage of the DNC and is now all over T.V. doing the same," Mr. Trump wrote on Twitter. "Nice!"
Ibrahim Hooper, who is a spokesman for the Council on American-Islamic Relations, told The New York Times: "It's really despicable that anyone, let alone a presidential candidate, would choose to dishonor the service of an American who gave his life for this nation."
Instead of showing any remorse for the Khans, Mr. Trump's foolish and ignorant – inhuman – comments are the latest in a continuing and disturbing pattern and serve as the latest reminder of his total unfitness for becoming President of the United States. Donald Trump is a person without a soul. He's a loud bully, a bigot. He is unaccepting of criticism and easily becomes unhinged as the events of the past few days have shown loud and clear. He lacks compassion for others and he doesn't know the meaning of empathy.
Meanwhile, acting presidential and expressing compassion and respect, Mrs. Clinton said: "I was very moved to see Ghazala Khan stand bravely and with dignity in support of her son on Thursday night. And I was very moved to hear her speak last night, bravely and with dignity, about her son's life and the ultimate sacrifice he made for his country."
Appearing on CNN's State of the Union program over the weekend, Mr. Khan expressed: "Two things are absolutely necessary in any leader or any person who aspires, wishes, to be a leader. That is moral compass and second is empathy. ... Mr. Trump is a black soul."
On Monday, Senator John McCain of Arizona, a decorated hero of the Vietnam War, sharply criticized Trump, saying: "It is time for Donald Trump to set the example for our country and the future of the Republican Party." Sadly, Sen. McClain refused to back off his support for Mr. Trump. When will he and other Republic Party leaders such as House speaker Paul Ryan and Senate majority leader Mitch McConnell disavow Trump?
This morning, during a news conference following a joint address with the prime minister of Singapore in the East Room of the White House, President Obama gave his strongest denouncement of Mr. Trump. He said Mr. Trump is "woefully unprepared to do this job" and added that Republican criticisms of their party's presidential candidate "ring hollow" as they continue to support his bid for the presidency. Mr. Obama asked Republicans matter-of-factly: "If you are repeatedly having to say in very strong terms that what he has said is unacceptable, why are you still endorsing him? What does this say about your party, that this is your standard bearer?"
Indeed, Mr. Trump has shown time and again that he is capable of being both callous and cruel, and is unfit to be the commander in chief. He exhibits the character of a dark, dystopian dictator.
With less than 100 days until the November election, it remains to be seen how many more disgusting things Donald Trump will say that show off his ignorance and disrespect for the highest office in our country, his unfitness to be president, and his lack of empathy towards America's decent and ordinary citizens.
Sometimes, it takes a patriotic Muslim American family – one which emigrated to the United States so they could build a better life for themselves and who have made the ultimate sacrifice for this country – to remind all of us of the importance of the values and ideals that shape our American democracy.
Read the full text of Khizr Khan's speech to the DNC:
Across the U.S., May is traditionally a month for college graduation ceremonies. It's the season where commencement speakers share their knowledge of the world and instill good feelings in graduating seniors -- and there are some seven million students graduating from colleges and universities this year alone.
Each year, the President of the United States gives a commencement address at one of the nation's military academies like West Point or Annapolis. On Wednesday, Barack Obama will use his commencement address at West Point Military Academy to lay out a broad vision of American foreign policy for the foreseeable future. Earlier this month, the well-known tennis commentator Mary Carillo spoke to graduates -- including her daughter -- at Elon College in North Carolina, and the esteemed jazz musician and educator Wynton Marsalis addressed graduates at Tulane University in New Orleans. Both are excellent communicators. Meanwhile, closer to my home, the House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi addressed the graduating class at the University of California, Berkeley.
Politicians and entertainers are often asked to give commence speeches because not only are they well known public figures, they're at ease being in front of large crowds of people. They're naturals.
Last week, the world famous, nine-time Grammy Award-winning soul artist John Legend, who is also a philanthropist and Penn alumnus, returned to his alma mater to receive an honorary Doctor of Music degree. Legend also delivered the commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania, described by USA Today as being "funny, moving and musical," and he even worked some song lyrics into his speech.
"The reason I'm here, the reason I've had such a wonderful journey so far, is that I've found love. Yes, love," said Legend, who first visited the Ivy League campus as a high school senior named John Stephens in 1995. "We were all made to love. And I've found that we live our best lives, we are at our most successful, not simply because we're smarter than everyone else, or because we hustle harder. Not because we become millionaires more quickly. The key to success, the key to happiness, is opening your mind and your heart to love. Spending your time doing things you love and with people you love."
Legend's musical pedigree is rich in diversity -- he's worked with Herbie Hancock, The Roots and Kanye West, among many -- and, lately, one of his songs, "All of Me," has gained in popularity, too.
I came across Legend's wonderful commencement address the other day -- a link to it appeared on my Facebook news feed. I spent some time reading it -- absorbing its message -- and it really resonated with me. Legend had a lot of important things to say to the University of Pennsylvania graduates, and he connected a lot of dots, too.
I urge all of you to take a few minutes to read over John Legend's commencement address with focus and passion and courage. And, if you are so moved, click on the above link to watch Legend and listen to his words of wisdom.
"Thank you. Thank you so much. Good morning. And congratulations!
Now I'll try to be brief this morning. As a musician, this is about 10 hours before I normally go to work, so I'm gonna need a nap soon. And you've got degrees to receive.
And I also have a feeling some of you are already tired of me. The thing about pop radio in America, somehow they've scientifically determined that the public is only capable of liking the same 10 songs at any given time, so they simply play those songs over and over and over until you're finally completely exasperated. Then they move on ...
I've had a 10-year career as a solo artist and none of my songs has ever been one of those 10 songs. Until this moment. And now "all of you, are so over me, you're tired of hearing that I went to Penn. Why'd they bring him back again?" (sung to the tune of "All of Me" chorus)
That was my humblebrag way of saying I have the biggest song in the country. Very artful, wouldn't you say?
But, honestly, I am truly humbled and honored and grateful to be here at the commencement of one of the finest universities on the planet. I first visited this campus as a high school senior named John Stephens in 1995 -- 19 years ago -- and I would have never thought at that moment that I would be standing here as John Legend, speaking to you today.
The reason I'm here, the reason I've had such a wonderful journey so far, is that I've found love. Yes, love. We were all made to love. And I've found that we live our best lives, we are at our most successful, not simply because we're smarter than everyone else, or because we hustle harder. Not because we become millionaires more quickly. The key to success, the key to happiness, is opening your mind and your heart to love. Spending your time doing things you love and with people you love.
My life could have gone differently though. At first, I had a pretty good childhood. I grew up in a small blue-collar city called Springfield, Ohio. I was surrounded by family, including two loving parents who cared so much about our education that they home-schooled us for several years during grade school. And they took the time to teach us more than academics. They taught us about character, about what it meant to live a good life.
My father often talked to us about his definition of success. He told us that it wasn't measured in money and material things, but it was measured in love and joy and the lives you're able to touch -- the lives you're able to help. And my parents walked the walk. They gave of themselves to our church. They took in foster kids and helped the homeless, even though we didn't have much money ourselves.
Growing up in the Stephens house also meant you were immersed in art and music and encouraged to be creative. We had a piano and a drum kit in the house. I begged to take piano lessons when I was 4. I started singing in the church choir and in school plays by the time I was 7. So I fell in love with music at a very young age.
My family was like a model family in our church and local community. My parents were leaders, raising intelligent, talented kids in a loving environment. We even had a little singing group called the "Stephens 5."
But things started to fall apart when I was 10. My maternal grandmother passed away that year when she was only 58 years old, and her death devastated my family. She was our church organist, and on Sundays after church, I would go to her house just to hang out with her. She would make chicken and collard greens and corn bread. And she would teach me how to play gospel piano. She was one of my favorite people on the planet.
She and my mother were also very close, and her death sent my mother into a deep depression that eventually tore our family apart. My world was shattered. My parents got divorced. My mother disappeared into over a decade of drugs and despair. And I was confused and disoriented.
After the initial shock of my family breaking apart, my outward response wasn't very emotional. I coped by being stoic and seemingly unaffected. I thought if I didn't expose myself to any more pain and vulnerability, I could never get hurt. If I didn't fall in love, no one could ever betray me like that again.
I busied myself with school work and lots of activities, and tried not to think too much about my family situation, tried to avoid pain whenever possible. A big reason I only applied to colleges on the east coast was to make sure I had no reminders of home in my daily life.
The only thing I allowed myself to really love without reservation was music. I put all of my passion into it. I spent so much of my spare time working on it, that I barely got any sleep. At night, I was doing community choir, show choir and musicals in high school; a cappella and a church choir in college. I wrote my own songs. Played in talent shows. I put a lot of energy into becoming a better artist, a better writer and a better performer. And in some ways, it made me a better student and a better leader. Because when you actually care about something, you want to lead. Apathy's not so cool any more.
When I graduated from Penn, I had many of the traditional opportunities in front of you now, and I took a job at the Boston Consulting Group. But I couldn't shake my passion for music. I had followed the path that the Penn graduate was supposed to take, but I didn't fall in love. I immediately started thinking about how I could leave BCG and become a full-time musician. I spent hours during the day preparing powerpoint presentations and financial models. And I spent almost as many hours at night writing songs and performing at small gigs around New York and Philadelphia.
I always believed that my big break would come sooner rather than later. In fact, from 1998, while I was still at Penn, to early 2004, I spent each of those years always thinking that I would get that big record deal within the next few months. I always thought my moment was just around the corner. But I was rejected by all the major labels; some of them rejected me multiple times. I played for all the giants of the business -- Clive Davis, L.A. Reid, Jimmy Iovine, you name it. And all of them turned me down.
But I did find a young producer from Chicago named Kanye West who believed in me. Kanye happened to be the cousin of my good friend DeVon Harris, a classmate and roommate of mine here at Penn. DeVon introduced me to Kanye in 2001, and we've been working together ever since. Our collaboration has been a huge part of my career, and it had a lot to do with me finally getting a major recording contract in 2004.
Now, Kanye and I have very different personalities, as you might have guessed. But what unites us is our true love for music and art. We love to create, and at no point in our creative process do we stress about what will sell or what's already popular. We think about making something beautiful, something special, something we can be proud of. We truly do this because we love it. We put all of ourselves into it.
And it turns out that love requires that level of commitment from you. Half-doing it is not doing it right. You have to go all in. And yes, your personal relationships require that too.
I know what it's like to be all ego in your 20s. I know what it's like to be selfish and just focus on your immediate wants and desires. I know what it's like to protect your heart from pain and disappointment. I know what it means to be all about the rat race and winning.
But years from now, when you look back on your time here on earth, your life and your happiness will be way more defined by the quality of your relationships, not the quantity. You'll get much more joy out of depth, not breadth. It's about finding and keeping the best relationships possible with the people around you. It's about immersing yourself in your friendships and your family. It's about being there for the people you care about, and knowing that they'll be there for you.
I know. It's not easy to go all in on love. I'm 35 and I'm married and I'm still learning how to do this completely. But I've found someone who makes me want to try, someone who makes me want to take that risk. And it's made all the difference.
Now, I've already talked about the power of love in your work and your personal lives. But I also want to talk about how love changes the world. There are 7 billion other people out there. Seven billion strangers. I want you to consider what it means to love them, too. What does it mean to love people we don't know, to see the value in every single person's life?
Think about that. It's a pretty radical notion. It means your daughter or son, your neighbor's daughter or son and the daughters and sons of people who live thousands of miles away, all deserve the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It means we let go of fear and see each other's humanity. It means we don't see Trayvon Martin as a walking stereotype, a weaponized human. We see him as a boy who deserves the chance to grow into a man, even if he makes boyish mistakes along the way. It means American lives don't count more than Iraqi lives. It means we see a young Palestinian kid not as a future security threat or demographic challenge, but as a future father, mother and lover. It means that the nearly 300 kidnapped girls in Nigeria aren't just their problem. They're "our" girls too. It's actually quite a challenge to love humankind in this way.
Professor Cornel West gives us a word for what this kind of love looks like in public. That word is justice.
If you're committed to loving in public, it requires you opening your eyes to injustice, to see the world through the eyes of another. This is not a passive activity. You have to read. You have to travel to other neighborhoods, other parts of the world. You may have to get your hands dirty. You have to allow people to love you, and you have to love them back
My team and I met a young girl named Rose from a small, impoverished village in Ghana. When you're working with development organizations and visiting the communities they work in, you're not really supposed to single out one child to fall in love with. You're supposed to stick to the program and focus on the interventions that lift the community as a whole. But we couldn't help it. We fell in love with Rose. Something about the spark in her eyes and her indomitable spirit made us want to go the extra mile to help her. So we decided to use our own funds to sponsor her tuition to secondary school.
We've stayed in touch with her over the past seven years, and we're so proud of what she's done individually. But we're also happy that she inspired us to formalize and expand our scholarship program to many girls in communities like hers throughout Africa, communities where the parents often invest in the boys' secondary education, but don't do the same for the girls.
In my travels around the world, I've looked in the eyes of many young girls and boys from Africa to Southeast Asia to Harlem, kids who had big dreams and needed someone to believe in them and invest in their future, in their education.
What would our schools look like if we were committed to love in public? If we cared about every kid in our school system, we would make sure they didn't go to school hungry. We would make sure they had proper health care and counseling. We would make sure they had excellent teachers in every classroom. We would make sure we weren't unfairly suspending them and criminalizing them for minor behavioral problems. We'd make sure all of them had the resources they need.
Every religion has this idea of philanthropy, love for mankind, at its core. But you shouldn't do this just to make sure you get into the "pearly gates." Look at the work of Marty Seligman here at Penn, who has literally written the book on happiness. Look at the work of Adam Grant, whom I hear is the most highly rated professor here: He has the data to show that giving works. There's an increasing body of research and knowledge that tells us that living a life of love and compassion is the true path to success and contentment.
So what's going to stop you? What's going to stand in your way? What's going to keep you from achieving your success? What will prevent you from going all in on love?
We're taught when we're young that the opposite of love is hate. But it's not. Hate is a byproduct. Hate is a result. Being a hater isn't cool. Nobody wants that. But hate comes from one thing: fear. And fear is the opposite of love. It's not a coincidence that when we talk about bigotry, we often talk in terms of fear: homophobia, xenophobia. Fear is what blinds us. Fear is corrosive. Fear makes us hold back. It whispers to us, tells us that we'll fail. It tells us that our differences are too much to overcome. Fear locks us in place. It starts fights. It causes wars.
And fear keeps us from loving. Even though we're made to love, we're often afraid to love. We're afraid of being hurt deeply. Afraid of feeling the pain I went through when my parents divorced. But you're never going to really love something or someone unless you put those fears aside. Don't hold back. Being in love means being ready to give freely and openly, and being ready to risk something. Risking pain and disappointment, conquering your fears, and becoming anew.
Alice Walker once said, "The more I wonder, the more I love." Love calls you to open your eyes, to seek, to search, to wonder.
Love is all-consuming -- it infiltrates your body, it's what allows you to experience bliss, joy and true friendship. You'll be more disappointed when something goes wrong. You might fall harder. But the only way you'll reach any height in life and in love is by taking the chance that you might fall.
You have to give your all.
Yes, I've been not-so-subtly working in my song lyrics. And some might think it's all a bit too much. Here I am, this R&B singer with an album called Love in the Future, who's recently married and wrote the biggest love song of the year, and what did I choose to talk about? Love. It's so corny, isn't it. It's much cooler to be detached and apathetic, right? We all like a little snark and cynicism and irony, especially from our favorite artists and comedians and writers. I get it.
But that cool detachment only gets you so far. Passion gets you a lot further. It makes you a better entrepreneur, a better leader, a better philanthropist, a better friend, a better lover.
I want you to live the best life you can. You can be world-changers. When you leave here today, you're going to be looking for a lot of things: security, money, friendships, sex, all kinds of things. But the most important thing you'll find is love.
So love your self, love your work, love the people around you. Dare to love those who are different from you, no matter where they're from, what they look like, and who they love. Pursue this life of love with focus and passion and ambition and courage. Give it your all. And that will be your path to true success.
Congratulations to the Class of 2014 and thank you so much!"
"One voice can change a room. And if it can change a room, it can change a city. And if it can change a city, it can change a state. And if it can change a state, it can change a nation. And if it can change a nation, it can change the world." ~ President Barack Obama, from his final 2012 campaign speech in Des Moines, Iowa, on Monday night, November 5, 2012 I woke up this morning on our nation's Election Day feeling hopeful and inspired. Fired up, ready to go! I voted ~ and, I've been encouraging all of my friends through social media via Facebook of the importance to get out and perform their civic duty and to vote their conscience today. Using our voice to speak out by exercising the right to vote is one of great tenets of our American democratic society. This is an important Presidential election for the future of our country and it has Americans engaged for many different reasons. And, it has also caught the attention of my Facebook friends in Europe, Asia and North Africa, who are keenly following today's election outcome with hope and patience for a brighter future. I am supporting the re-election of our President, Barack Obama, because he best represents what I support: Equal rights for women, children, minorities, and gays and lesbians; a strong and improving economy; sound environmental protection; and an end to the foreign wars our troops are currently engaged in. I believe President Obama's vision for America provides our country with the best hope for its future. I'm fired up and ready to move forward. I hope everyone will join me. Our work is not done. Indeed, one voice can change the world. Image of Barack and Michelle Obama courtesy of Barack Obama official Facebook page.
