Reflections on a Halloween night

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,
May luck be yours on Halloween.

Reflecting upon my childhood, one thing I looked forward to each year was Halloween. 

Last night, over the course of two and one-half hours, kids – white, black, Asian, Hispanic – were out in great enthusiasm, if not in great numbers, in our Oakland, Calif., neighborhood celebrating Halloween. They represented a microcosm of the city at large. They came full of enthusiasm, and they dressed in wonderful, creative – even traditional – costumes. 

One of my favorite Jack O' Lanterns

Some reflections on this latest Halloween evening:

• Dressing up as a ghost or witch, as traditional a costume as you'll see, is still quite popular as well as going trick-or-treating decked out as a super hero like Batman, Spiderman or Superman. Years after their motion picture debuts, Darth Vader and Harry Potter still garner a lot of attention, no doubt thanks to their movie-star appeal – and both remain among my favorites. As a kid, I remember dressing up as a NASA astronaut back when kids aspired to be astronauts and fly to the moon. Simpler times, I guess.

• This year, my favorite surprise was a tiny three-year-old girl who dressed up as a beautiful hand-knitted farm hen.  Of course, it's always cute to see little kids dress up as lovely and cuddly tigers and dinosaurs, too. Whether homemade or store bought, imaginative costumes are what make Halloween special.

• In recent years, there's been more and more parental chaperones present on Halloween evening – many in costume – and it's always fun to see a few toting their pet dogs and baby strollers for the littlest ones, too. While some youngsters are very eager and outgoing, ready to shout "Trick or Treat" at the top of their lungs, every year there's always a few kids who are quite timid and shy, especially the youngest ones. Parents do their best to coach their little ones, standing by the bottom step of our porch, whispering "trick or treat," then "thank you."

• Halloween has definitely turned into a family event -- a sporting event, maybe? -- and this year, we budgeted for 200 mini chocolate bar candies to give out! With rain in the forecast and temperatures in the low 60s, some kids got an early start on their trick-or-treating to beat any precipitation. (Around 7 p.m., there were a few sprinkles and out came the umbrellas. Fortunately, it was short lived.) Our first trick-or-treater came knocking at the door at 5:43 p.m., just before sunset, a young grade-school girl dressed as a fairy princess. By 6 p.m., we had greeted five, including a little toddler dress up as the Big Bad Wolf while his mother accompanied him as the Little Red Riding Hood. 

• Soon after and for the next couple of hours, a steady group of youngsters came knocking on our door, dressed as teenage mutant ninja turtles, robots, skeletons, assorted royalty, Hello Kitty, Pokémon, soldiers in camouflage, softball players, Raggedy Ann, Batgirl, Elsa from "Frozen," the Mad Hatter, assorted zombies from "The Walking Dead," the Cowardly Lion from "The Wizard of Oz," the Grim Reaper, "the Scream" (based upon the Edvard Munch painting), a couple of preppy middle school girls in white sweater dresses and matching black Urban Outfitter canvas bags, a beautifully attired Cleopatra, and on and on. Our best estimate is we greeted about 100-120 trick-or-treaters this year. 

A basket full of pumpkins / Happy Halloween!

• By 8:30 p.m., once the crowds had thinned, we turned out the lights, shut the front door, and treated ourselves to a few pieces of leftover candy. I love a good Kit Kat bar.

Looking back, the festiveness of Halloween left me in a happy, reflective mood. Indeed, it was another Happy Halloween – one of the most enjoyable evenings of the year – and I look forward to the next one.

Photos: Cover image, courtesy of Google Images. Pumpkin photos © Michael Dickens.

A few thoughts on being a good listener

The greatest gift you can give another
is the purity of your attention.

Every day is a new day blessed with opportunities. As a social medium, Facebook affords us with an ideal an opportunity to exchange our thoughts and feelings with our family, neighbors and friends, both near to us as well as many distant time zones away. 

Part of the art of meaningful conversation, I believe, is in being a good listener -- even when we are socializing via Facebook. One friend of mine once expressed to me that I am tolerant and open minded, and for those reasons, they felt comfortable sharing a conversation with me. Mind you, we have never had the pleasure of meeting each other in person, yet there was a level of comfort and trust between us.

As I have gained the friendship of many different and wonderful people over the past few years, thanks to Facebook, I am very proud to call as dear friends those who come from many different countries around the world besides the U.S., including: several Asia Pacific nations such as the Philippines and Vietnam; India, Tunisia, Algeria, Morocco, Egypt, Brazil, and also many eastern and western European countries, such as Serbia, Great Britain and Belgium.

My group of dear friends resembles a microcosm of the United Nations. Among them, they also include many different faiths, too: Catholics and Protestants, Western and Eastern Christians, Muslims, Orthodox, Buddhists and Jews, too. I am blessed to be a part of a wonderful circle of cultural and religious diversity.

I consider myself color-blind when it comes to race and nationality, and I show the same love, respect and courtesy to all of my friends regardless of the color of their skin, their gender or their sexual preference. Because of my tolerance and open-mindedness, I have gained the trust of many of my friends, something that makes me very proud. And, as such, many come to me in confidence to share their thoughts, their hopes, their dreams and to seek my opinion, guidance and feedback. It has been a privilege to be thought of as a mentor and tutor, and I thank each and every one of you for the gift of your time.

Whether we realize it or not, each of us is blessed with the ability to be a good listener. 

“Listening is a magnetic and strange thing, a creative force," it has been said. "The friends who listen to us are the ones we move toward. When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand.”

Because we validate each other's lives with our attention, I highly encourage each and every one of you to take the time to listen during the conversations you have with your family, your neighbors and your friends. Each of us has the potential to be a difference maker in another person's life. After all, as it's been said: "The greatest gift you can give another is the purity of your attention."

In closing, my dear friends, I would like to leave you with a thought about listening from the 20th century American scholar and author William Arthur Ward, whose books about religion include: Fountains of Faith and Thoughts of a Christian Optimist. 

Ward wrote:

• Before you speak, listen.

• Before you write, think.

• Before you spend, earn.

• Before you invest, investigate.

• Before you criticize, wait.

• Before you pray, forgive.

• Before you quit, try.

• Before you retire, save.

• Before you die, give.

Stories and ideas: a celebration of words

A celebration of words /
My first Read-and-Write-a-thon experience
was a year ago this weekend.

Looking back on a year ago this weekend, I had never participated in a read-a-thon and, honestly, didn't really know what to expect. Would I be nervous? Would I be confident? Would the audience warm to my literary selection?

At 9 a.m. on a sunny, spring Saturday morning, as I recall, it was my turn to read in the WriterCoach Connection Read-and-Write-a-thon at Longfellow Middle School Library in Berkeley, an annual event in support of the WriterCoach Connection (WCC) program, a small but remarkable non-profit. Since 2001, WCC has brought one-on-one writing support to thousands of of middle school and high school students of all skill levels in the East Bay cities of Oakland, Richmond, Berkeley, El Cerrito and Albany. This year, more than 650 coaches are working with over 2,200 students.

Looking back on my first Read-and-Write-a-thon experience, I was both humbled and amazed. There was much generosity and support from the dozen-or-so who came early in the day to the library at the time I read a selected passage from Calvin Trillin's Tummy Trilogy, an ode to food. They focused on my every spoken word for the 15 minutes in which I commanded their attentiveness.

Fast forward a year and this Saturday, it's time for me to participate in the WriterCoach Connection's sixth annual Read-and-Write-a-thon. For 10 consecutive hours, volunteers like me, students and supporters will share their love of the written and spoken word. There's bound to be poetry read as well as passages from novels -- even a yearly tradition of the reading of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. It's our major fundraiser of the year, and it helps bridge the gap between what the WCC costs and what we're able to raise from school budgets and grants.

This year, I have been working individually with a variety of seventh and eighth grade students at Longfellow Middle School in Berkeley. My students represent a microcosm of the school's student body -- black, white, Asian, Hispanic -- and of the city of Berkeley, too. It has been a uniquely rewarding experience to see my students become more critical thinkers and confident writers.

My goal as a writing coach is simple and straight-forward, yet heartfelt: to help strengthen a student's writing skills and help them develop their ideas. And, through the use of positive encouragement and showing care, I believe I am making a difference in each student's educational development.

If you would like to support me, our readers, and this wonderful program by making a small donation, that would be very cool. If you can help, please go to www.writercoachconnection.org, click on the blue Read-and-Write-a-thon banner, and you'll land on our fundraising page.

Whatever you can do, thank you so much for keeping us going. No pledge is too small. In fact, $10 will buy the paper and pencils a class needs to keep writing all year. Those 2,200 kids, my fellow volunteer coaches, and dozens of English teachers thank you, too. Donate because kids write the future.

And, if you're in Berkeley on Saturday morning around 9:45 a.m., when I'll be reading a baseball tale about Willie Mays from Roger Angell's Game Time, feel free to drop in at the Longfellow Middle School Library where the Read-and-Write-a-thon will be taking place from 8 a.m. until 6 p.m. There will be some light snacks and refreshments available -- and the library will be transformed into an enjoyable literary café atmosphere full of stories and ideas.

Photo by Bob Menzimer.